Our natural human instinct is often self-preservation and self-advancement. Somewhere in the recesses of our minds, we seek to see how things will benefit us. Our sinful nature says, “Will I get the credit for this?” “What about me?” Where’s the benefit in this for me?” We come into this world crying and wanting our desires met. If it does not happen quickly, we cry louder. Yet, scripture often teaches us to seek what is best for others, not ourselves. Desiring the best for others is what Paul addresses in three of his books.
In Romans 15:1-2 Paul had just finished teaching and exhorting in chapter 14 on how they ought to have brotherly love and mutual kindness to one another. In verse 1 we are to be strong and bear the infirmities of those who are weak. Here the word bear means to “to bear with, to be indulgent to, to endure patiently, not to contend with. To do this we will not be pleasing ourselves, but denying ourselves helping a weaker brother. The strong means strong in our faith. We have things settled, we have a good understanding of scripture and probably have been a Christian a lot longer than the weaker brother who still struggles with doubt. In verse two Our neighbor is primarily speaking of the members of the church. We are to edify, meaning to build them up in the faith.
Romans 15:1-2 “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification.”
Another undeniable passage that teaches us to seek the best for others, not ourselves is Philippians 2:3-4 ”Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” These two verses teach us to be there should be no contention between in what we do. We are to be humble and not to think about ourselves. We are to look toward what is best for others this is a natural effect of true humility. Then in verse 5 we are told the reason this is the best for a Christian. It is because it makes us more like Jesus. Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”
In 1 Corinthians 10:24, Paul states it so that no one can misunderstand God’s others first design. “Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.”
This is how God’s love turns our self-centered posture upside down. Desiring the absolute best for others—cheering for their success, praying for their growth, and genuinely rejoicing in their blessings—is one of the clearest signs of a heart transformed by grace.
In this world we hold onto insecurity or comparison, making someone else’s win feel like our loss. But God’s grace is not a finite resource. Someone else receiving God’s goodness, favor, or joy does not mean there is less available for you. True love isn’t threatened by another person’s breakthrough; it celebrates it.
To desire the best for others requires deliberate humility. It means actively choosing to hold open doors, extend grace, offer encouragement, and pray for their prosperity, peace, and spiritual growth—even when no one is watching and even when you receive nothing in return. When you cultivate a heart that genuinely wants others to thrive, you mirror the heart of Christ, who poured out His very life so that we might receive the ultimate best.
We must pray and ask God to reveal to us any hidden seeds of comparison or self-centeredness that is hiding in our hearts. When the Holy Spirit revels those to us, and He will if we are serious, recognize these feelings as sin, repent, and replace them with a genuine desire to see those around us flourish. Make it a goal to look out for their good, to celebrate their victories as if they were our own. Use the ability given by God to value others above yourself and the grace to reflect our selfless love in every interaction.
Now for the application. It does us harm if we come to this point recognizing what God commands but we do not put it into practice. Ask God to reveal opportunities to speak encouragement to others. It may be someone who is working hard or stepping into a new season of life, or a young Christian that is struggling to put all the pieces together to serve Christ. Remember we all start with baby steps and so many who come to Christ do not come from a Christian home. Send a text, make a call to let them know you are praying for them. When you are at church make a mental note of new people or those who have been less engaged than they should be and speak to them after the service. Genuinely pray for others and follow up on those prayers. Forget about your agenda, your comfort, and your needs. When you follow Jesus pattern of putting others first, He will bless and take care of you. Putting others first is a matter of obedience and trusting God. Start today to be others focused, be intentional and you will experience a joy that will fill your soul.
