Wisdom is the soundness of an action or decision, regarding the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment. How many times in my life have I blown speaking with wisdom? If I had a dime for every time I have said things that were unwise or unkind, I would be one wealthy lady. I have always been a talker. Not a great quality to have, but even with that personality trait, God can teach us how to use our words in a manner that is honoring to Him.
Proverbs 31:26 “She opened her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Out of all the ways this mother in Proverbs 31 tells her son to identify a virtuous woman, this is the simplest and best. Before a young man ever decides he would like to date a young woman he can determine if she is right for him. If he is a Christian, seeking to put Christ first, all he needs to do is listen to her talk in a group of people. He needs to learn to listen, instead of look! Looks will deceive you. Many a young man has been led to the wrong woman because they chose with their eyes not with ears.
Proverbs 6:25 “Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.”
Proverbs 31:30 “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”
This same principal should be applied to the young lady who is being pursued by a young man. Listen carefully to what he is saying. Are his words simply flattery? Do his words reveal a heart for God? Proverbs 14:7 teach us to go from the presence of a foolish man. If you are wise woman you will pick up on whether his words are flattery to entice you and make you like him, or does he speak words seeking to know who you really are? Such as, what are the things you like to do, what kind of music do you like, where do you go to church, or what do you think about certain moral issues? The answers to these questions will give him a clear picture of where your heart lies, and these types of conversations will let you know what is on his mind.
Proverbs 14:7 “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceive not in him the lips of knowledge.”
What is in the heart will eventually find its way out of the mouth. That is why it is so important that we pay attention to what we say, and to what others say. Sometimes we need to fall on our knees and ask for forgiveness because we have allowed our own hearts to deceive us. Think about the conversations you have had lately. Were your words full of wisdom? Were they kind? Did the instructions you gave someone have biblical basis, or were they determined by what the world thinks about a situation. Many times, wrong advice is given because we are ignorant of God’s word, but that is our own fault.
Matthew 12:34-37 “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”
Though this passage in Proverbs is written from the perspective of a mom teaching her son what to look for in a wife, it is applicable to all of us. We all need to speak words of wisdom, and we need to be kind. It is better to say nothing than to say the wrong thing. Sarcastic comments may be funny to some, but they are not the comments of a kind wise person. We are never to be rude or harsh with our tongue. The tongue can be life or death, poison or medicine, depending on its use.
Proverbs 12:18 “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.”
She speaks kindness from a pure heart. She seeks to show that kindness on every turn. It is not within her to say things that she knows will cut or hurt another person. Sometimes it is necessary to help others to see the truth about a matter, and that may sting, but she does it in such a way that it is accepted, because it is done with love and grace.
Proverbs 22:11 “He that loveth pureness of heart, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.”
This virtuous woman has learned to master her tongue instead of it controlling her. She seeks to lift others up to encourage them to be more like Christ. This should be the goal of each of us. How many more would there be in the kingdom of Heaven if all Christians spoke this way?
