Accepting criticism is not something that comes naturally. Psychologist tells us that we are “programmed” to be prideful and oppose criticism. All you need to do to figure that one out is to stop and listen to a conversation. It usually takes very little time to hear people talking about themselves in a “proud” way. If no one else will build them up, they will do it for themselves. Pride has been around since Lucifer, the fallen angel, also called the devil, was banned from Heaven and doomed for Hell. Pride is the enemy of accepting constructive criticism.
If we ever want to grow in our walk with the Lord, we must conquer this attitude of self-sufficiency and embrace constructive criticism. The Bible speaks much about how pride is wrong and where it will lead. It also says much about how we are to give and receive constructive criticism. Pride leads to destruction. It is one of the things that those who fear the Lord are to hate. It is also not of God, but it is an indication we are still in and of this world.
Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
Proverbs 8:13 “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.”
I John 2:16 “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”
The reason it is so hard to humble ourselves, eliminate pride in our hearts, and receive correction is because the pride in our hearts deceives us and it convinces us we are right.
Obadiah 1:3 “The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee, thou that dwellest in the clefts of the rock, whose habitation is high; that saith in his heart, Who shall bring me down to the ground?”
The first step to accept, learn, and grow from constructive criticism is to identify the enemy of pride and deal with it through the study of God’s word and prayer. Understanding how God hates it and how destructive it is to our own selves will cause us to detest it as the sin that it is.
Now that we have dealt with the enemy of constructive criticism, let’s embrace what God says about it. Proverbs 27:17 teaches us that we are to “sharpen” one another. If you are going to sharpen a knife you must grind off the rough edges. The more you pull the knife across the stone the sharper it gets. We must be willing to allow the godly wisdom of a friend to grind away things that keep us from being all we can be for God.
Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
In Proverbs 15:31-32, God instructs us to listen and heed to those knowledgeable in His word. Their words should be based on biblical principles, not just some man’s opinion. That’s why verse 31 tells us to abide among the wise. In other words, hang around those who get their wisdom from God. Listen to what they say, and watch how they live. In verse 32, we see that the person who despises instruction or reproof despises his own soul. They prefer the bodily pleasures of the here and now. Their value of their eternal soul is ignored. They will not listen but chose pleasure for a season.
Proverbs 15:31-32 “The ear that heareth the reproof of life abides among the wise. He that refuses instruction despises his own soul: but he that heareth reproof gains understanding.”
Believers are to exhort each other. The word “exhort” means to strongly encourage or urge someone to do something. Hebrews 3:13 says we are to do it daily. We should be exhorting and admonishing each other on a regular basis. Romans 15:14 teaches us that we should be able to admonish each other. To admonish is to correct or reprimand someone firmly. It is important that close friends can encourage and correct one another. They should hold each other accountable to biblical principles and biblical commands. If we don’t our hearts can become hard and we will be deceived. Sin is always deceitful. It never shows you the result when it is trying to entice you to engage in it. The young person who is enticed to drink their first beer is enticed by friends having a good time. Never would they take a drink from the drunk that is homeless and lost everything because he loved the bottle more than anything else.
Hebrews 3:13 “But exhort one another daily, while it is called Today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”
Romans 15:14 “And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.”
Two things must be considered at this time. First, are you surrounding yourself with people who can, and will, give you godly counsel? Will they love you with a tough love that tells you the truth about yourself in a loving way? Will they help you to grow in your walk with the Lord? Second, will you listen and heed the admonition and exhortation of your godly friend. If your answer is yes to all of these, you are on the right road to becoming all that God wants you to be. Constructive criticism may be painful, but it is necessary to maintain and grow in our faith.
