I love the book of Colossians! As a list maker, I like this simple and to the point. Paul instructs us in Colossians of several things we are to put off if we are to honor Christ with our lives. In Colossians 3:13-15, he gives us a list of things we are to put on to honor Christ. Each aspect of this list in Colossians chapter 3 is vitally important to our spiritual wellbeing. Today’s list deals with forbearing, forgiving, and loving one another. Three things that must be in a Christians’ life if they are to fulfill what and how God tells us to live.
Colossians 3:13-15 “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”
The first mentioned in verse 13 is forbearing one another. To forbear someone is to be tolerant of someone. It also includes enduring and suffering. This virtue adds to the meekness and longsuffering mentioned in verse 12 the element of holding up against something to endure it. The range is a broad one in scripture. In Matthew 17:17, where Jesus endures their ignorance and foolishness, to II Thessalonians 1:4 where they were enduring persecutions. Paul uses them as an example to other Christians.
There will always be those who irritate us or annoy us for various reasons. It may be someone in your immediate family, another Christian, or an unbeliever that has habits that are annoying. Paul is encouraging us to be tolerant, even though we may not like what they do. In the family or at church we are to keep the peace. I do not believe he is talking about overlooking sin in the church because this would violate other scriptures, but there are a lot of things people do that we don’t like that are not sinful. With the unbeliever, we are to be tolerant because we want to win them. If they are not a Christian, we can’t expect them to act like a Christian.
Paul gives us a good example of forbearance in I Corinthians 4:11-13. He never allowed his circumstances of hunger, thirst, lack of enough clothing, being homeless, or wrong treatment to change his response. He continued to be compassionate, kind, humble, and patient with others. Some that treated him wrongly were believers, but most were not. However, he made sure others saw Christ in him. He was committed to Christ regardless of his circumstances. He exhibited the new man by forbearing one another. The words “one another” mentioned with forbear, is the Greek word allelon. It would include the treatment of unbelievers and believers. Being able to forbear one another is a virtue of the new man, and our identity with Jesus Christ. Having this virtue helps us to understand the world around us and deal with it in a Christlike fashion.
Next in the order of virtues is forgiving one another. The “one another” that forgiving is talking about is the Greek word heautois. This is talking about Christians specifically. We are to forgive others as Christ has forgiven us. Some have the idea that we do not have to forgive until the offender has asked for forgiveness, but the extending of forgiveness is an act on your part, not theirs. We are to forgive because we are commanded to do so. If we do not forgive we cannot expect forgiveness. If we do not forgive, it will slowly poison our mind and hurt will turn to anger then bitterness. These are deeper-rooted sins that will be harder to overcome.
Matthew 6:15 “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
There is an important difference between the unconditional forgiveness that we are to extend to others and the forgiveness that we receive from repenting for our sins. Repenting and asking for forgiveness from God are aspects of our believing. Christ’s forgiveness will not help us unless we exercise faith. Our forgiveness to others is a response purely to the grace we have already received from God. If we refuse to forgive it is an indication we don’t fully understand the grace that has been extended to us.
When we hesitate to forgive others or be patient and forbear them, we need to remember what was done for us on the cross. Jesus himself asked the Father to forgive His offenders because they knew not what they were doing. Christ made the provision for reconciliation long before we were ready to receive it or seek it. We have a solemn responsibility to forgive, forbear, and show real love.
Last on the list today is love. The love that should be preeminent in our lives is the love we have for God. If he is at the top His love will flow down through us and affect everything else in our lives. If you are having trouble with forgiving and being patient with others, your problem is your love for God, not the other person. If you want to be more loving in your relationships on this earth, you need to get to know the author of love better. As you get to know God you will find an overwhelming love for Him that will allow you to love others. Love conquers all! It is the hinge the door of forgiveness and tolerance hangs on. When we are completely obedient to Him, our outlook and attitude in forgiveness, patience or tolerance, and love, will take on a new light.
