What are cliques? This word is ascribed to a group of people who seemingly “clique” together. They have many things in common and enjoy being together. Webster’s dictionary defines a clique as a small group of people who spend time together and who are not friendly to other people. When you ignore some and embrace others in public you have violated several commands of scripture.
As a Christian, we will naturally gravitate to those we have more in common with and enjoy being with. That is not the problem, the problem is when others feel excluded from the group. When we don’t seek to include others, all others, we have formed a clique. Sometimes we form a clique without realizing it, but when we look around at church and see those to whom we have not made a point to speak, it’s time to correct our problem. In Galatians 5:14, we are told to love others as we love ourselves. When you love someone, you want them to feel loved. You include them in conversations, and you seek them out to get to know them.
Galatians 5:14 “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”
Sometimes we act like children and exclude others before we even get to know them. We make assumptions because of our own insecurities and fall into the trap of showing favoritism. It can be spiritually devastating for a new person or a young convert to feel excluded. When we stand around and talk and aren’t aware of others, we could be sending them the wrong message. It is very easy to give the idea that we think we are better than others. In James 2:1, we are warned to not show partiality. In James 2:9, the author reminds us that when we show partiality we have sinned. This puts a new light on how serious it is to make a difference between people in the church.
James 2:1 “My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons.”
James 2:9 “But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.”
It is only natural for us to gravitate to those who make us feel wanted and accepted. However, these relationships should not be fostered in the church at the exclusion of others. Get to know everyone God brings to your congregation. Show them they are welcome, and you care for them. Don’t give in to the desire to only spend time with certain ones. Open your life by serving others. Putting ourselves out there to make new friends can be awkward and uncomfortable, but it is another way God uses us to build His church. I’ve been to churches where I didn’t feel welcome, and I never went back.
When there are cliques in the church it will affect your ministries. It will cause those who are not saved to feel they are just as good as those within the walls of the church. I’ve been told by those I was trying to witness to that their actions are no different than those within the church, therefore if those within the walls are going to Heaven, they conclude they are too. Wrong as they may be, it was the fault of other believers that they didn’t want to be a part of the body of Christ. When people feel unloved, unnoticed, unimportant, or isolated, it will be hard for them to want to be involved and push forward for Christ. Discipleship will be almost impossible, and outreach will be affected.
So, how do we keep from being thought of as a clique? First, pay attention to the congregation. Do you see someone who hasn’t been there in a while? Go talk to them and let them know you have missed them. Look for those who are not talking to anyone and go start a conversation. Second, invite new people to your home, maybe even invite another couple or family for them to get to know. Don’t invite many or they will feel overwhelmed. They need to feel you wanted to get to know them.
Second, don’t stand around in a closed-in circle. Stand far enough apart others can feel welcome if they walk up to you. Your body language should be open and inviting. If you want to have private conversations, do it in private. I can’t tell you how many times I have walked up to people to just say hello and felt like I was intruding.
Third, it’s a great thing we are not all alike. The Bible is clear in I Corinthians 1:10 that we are different, but we must all agree and encourage one another’s differences, rather than exclude because of our differences. God made each of us different on purpose! Just as He made our bodies complex by making every part different in looks, and function, so it is with a vibrant Christ-honoring church. We need to embrace our differences for the good of the body.
I Corinthians 1:10 “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.”
With these thoughts in mind examine your actions at church. Are you reaching out to speak to others? Do you leave your seat after church to make sure you speak to someone before they leave? We all have a responsibility to treat others with love and kindness. Let it not be said of us or our church, that we are a “clique.”
