Today we will look at what a father should be, and the pattern set down by our heavenly Father. Before we get into the text, let me say this devotion is not just for fathers. You may not be, or have a Christian father, but we all can have a heavenly Father, that loves us with a perfect love. He disciplines us with a just hand, shows mercy, forgiveness, and forgets, to all who chose him.
All of us like to have someone in our corner. Someone who is cheering us on even when things get difficult. What’s even better, is to have someone encouraging you that really loves you. Fathers should be at the top of that list. They are to be the head of the home, the protector, provider, and image of God, to their children. The pattern for human fatherhood is to be our heavenly Father. While it is impossible to be perfect as our heavenly father, our earthly fathers should live in such a way that the children can see what God the Father is really like. Earthly fathers should be strong in character, honest, committed to truth, loving, forgiving, merciful, wise, all the while patiently guiding. There should also be an element of strength in training a child to do what is right. The father should discipline in a way to change behavior just as our heavenly father does.
Hebrews 12:6-11 “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless, afterward, it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”
Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”
Our text in Colossians 3:21 gives fathers further instruction. Do not provoke your children to anger, otherwise, they will become discouraged and feel it’s impossible to please you. How can a good loving parent provoke their child to anger? Sometimes as Parents our frustrations spill over on our children. We want them to obey, we want them to “get it.” We expect the best from them and hound them until we get what we are desiring. We need to be careful about constantly finding fault with our kids. It’s important that we acknowledge any progress on the path to doing something right. A child is not an adult. They cannot perform the way we do when tackling a task. If a child is trying to do a task, or just seeking to please you, you need to praise them for it. Be careful here to not praise them so they think they are great and become proud, but encourage them to see how God was working and using them. When we continually find fault with them, they can become discouraged and want to give up.
We want to train our children, but when the training becomes frustrating to us, it will also cause them to be frustrated. The object of training is to teach them to do things the right way. It should not be so berating that it discourages them to the point of quitting. It should also not make them fearful and nervous around you. If they get one step in the process right, praise them for that, and calmly show where they can do the other parts better. You gain nothing by yelling and telling the child how bad they did, but you can lose your influence and their love and respect.
When a child continues to disobey after you know they understand what to do, you need to punish for disobedience. You do not punish for mistakes or misunderstandings. Neither do you punish a child for not being able to do a task as well as you think they should. To properly punish you need to make sure the child understands what they did was disobedience, punish, then love them, and move on. Do not continue to rehash over and over what the child did. Forgive and forget. Losing your temper helps no one. You are only showing your child that you have no more self-discipline than you are expecting of them. You are to discipline to conform their will to your will, which makes it easier as they grow older to conform to the will of God. Proper discipline breaks the will, not the spirit of the child.
Being a good parent is never easy. It takes a lot of prayers, a lot of study of the word, a lot of love, and a lot of discipline of yourself. When all else fails, go to your knees before you respond to your child. The Father can give you strength and wisdom to know how to handle a situation. Just as our children mess up, so do we. If you’ve blown it ask them to forgive you and start over.
