How to love your husband is a phrase that has brought many people money. There are tons of books and seminars on husband and wife relationships. Plenty of ideas on what to do to sustain a marriage relationship, or revive a spark that has gone dim. Some have some great ideas and may work for a short period of time, but the best book on this relationship was written by the one who created marriage. The one who made us knows us better than anyone. The one who made us is the author of marriage and before mankind disobeyed and became sinful creatures, the love between Adam and Eve was perfect and pure.
Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Marriage is not something that man invented, it is a God-ordained union. God intended for a man and a woman to marry and be together until death parted them. After sin entered the world the relationship changed. Since Eve took the lead in the disobedience to God, she would now be subject to her husband.
Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow, thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
In our culture, it is unpopular to say that we are to be submissive to anyone. It goes against our prideful nature. Submissiveness brings the idea of a slave or servant, yet in God’s economy this is what we are to be to each other, but especially to our husbands. Submission is not a bad word, but it is beautiful when done in God’s way.
Ephesians 5:23 “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.”
In Titus 2:4, the instruction is for older women to teach younger women how to love their husbands and children. We have already dealt with being sober, or serious, in another devotion, so today we’ll focus on loving our husbands.
Titus 2:4 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children”
Most would be puzzled by the fact that we are to teach younger women how to love their husbands. After all, that seems to be something that comes naturally. However, the word teach, which means train, that is used in this verse is not the sexual, romantic love that we all think about when we think of love for our husbands. Sexual romantic love is very important, but this kind of love is so much more than that. It is a love that places emphasis on enjoying them, being a friend to our husbands, and finding pleasure in their company. It is being totally devoted to them with the utmost respect. It is a kind of love that encourages our husbands. This love listens and seeks ways to help them to grow in their spiritual lives. It is not critiquing them and looking for ways to change them, but always putting their best interests above our own. It is loving them enough to tell them the truth when they mess up but it takes no joy in pointing it out to them. The help needed is given with grace and mercy. It is not spiteful no matter what they have done. It is a love that holds no grudges, and won’t allow bitterness to creep in. It is a love that realizes we too make many mistakes, and when we do we desire mercy, grace, and help to overcome our wrongs.
This type of love in a marriage can only come from a right relationship with God. It is setting our own feelings aside for the love of another. It is seeking to have the mind of Christ as mentioned in Philippians 2:2-5. It is living in obedience to the commands of Jesus. This can only be done as we yield to God through the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in us. While the desire is to have a relationship where there is mutual respect and serving of one another. We must do our part and trust God to take care of the rest of the relationship.
Philippians 2:3-5 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”
Whatever your situation is in your marriage the right thing for you to do is obey God. If you are in a marriage where it seems impossible to have a biblical marriage where both respect each other and love is exhibited in actions and attitudes, you need to spend a lot of time in prayer. We must remember that we cannot change anyone’s heart. If we nag, we may get what we want for the moment, just so we will stop nagging, but that is not the goal. The goal is for the heart to change for good, and only God can do that. Therefore, we need to do our part to love them more than we love ourselves in every way. Then, pray that God will change our hearts and theirs for His glory. When you do this don’t get impatient and give up if it doesn’t happen on your timetable. Keep trusting God to work, when, and how He desires. Remember it is our job to love and God’s job to change.
