I am convinced most love that I see expressed is selfish love, not selfless love. The kind of love that we are to exhibit to others should be selfless. It should be a love that is more concerned about the needs and happiness of others, more than the happiness of ourselves. This type of love is rare. This type of love is shown to us by God. God gave His son to die for our sins. It was for our benefit that Christ died. This kind of love is called agape love. This kind of love is unconditional, selfless, and sacrificial.
This is the kind of love that is willful and determined. It is based on a decision, not a feeling. There will be many that you do not like, even in Christian circles, but you can, and should, still love them. You look past the things you don’t like to their eternal soul. Agape love is a willful, purposeful, love. It is engaging the heart and the mind. It will cause you to show Christ’s love, even if you don’t like the person.
In Ephesians 4:32, we are told to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving to one another. God showed us this kind of love when He forgave us. When we show this kind of love to others, we are showing agape love. Not because we like someone, but even to those we dislike. We can love because God loves them.
To like someone, you usually have things in common. Your personalities click rather than irritate each other. You see the kindness in them, and you return the kindness. This is another kind of love the bible calls phileo love or brotherly love. Unfortunately, many Christians operate their love life the same way as those who are unsaved. They do not extend agape love, they extend phileo love. They don’t understand the problem with not showing love to those who are not loving to them. If you mention someone that they seem to dislike they will tell you, “I love them, but I don’t like them.” That statement is ok if it is true. However, if you really love someone there will be some actions displayed from that love. Agape love is a giving love. “For God so loved the world that He gave.” You should still be kind to those you don’t like. You should still pray for them. We are even told in Matthew 5:44, to love our enemies, and bless them that curse us. We are to do good to those that hate us. That is real agape love.
Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Matthew 5:44 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”
To love others the way God loves us is almost impossible because of our sinful nature, but that doesn’t let us off the hook. We are to be striving to love people unconditionally. To love them sacrificially, with a love that has no end. It is a love that never fails. A love that is full of hope and love that shows the world what Christ looks like. If we react to our enemies, and the people we don’t like, the same way the unsaved react to those they don’t like, they will never see the need to have what we have. With our actions looking the same, they think they already have what we have. If your actions towards others are the same, maybe they do have what you have!
We must take a good long look at the way we treat others. Do we only reach out to those who reach out to us? Do we only offer to do good when we like the person? Do we willingly choose to show kindness and mercy to those we consider our enemies, those who are snippy to us, and those who hurt our feelings? If so, we are not showing the love of God.
Jesus himself had some close friends he chose to be with him, but he willfully chose to show kindness and mercy to those who hated him. Agape love held him to the cross so that all would have the opportunity to become children of God. It is agape love that renders us hopeful instead of hopeless. God demonstrated that love when he gave His Son as payment for our sins.
Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Jesus gave us this love when he left the splendor of Heaven to come to this earth to live and die for us. It was agape love that He gave when He imparted the Holy Spirit to come and dwell within those who put their faith in Him. He gave us a Comforter to comfort and guide us through our daily walk.
Jesus gave sight to the blind, food to the hungry, strength to the weak, health to the dying, peace to the fretful, and a future of Heaven to the believer. Do you get it? He gave, and gave, and gave! Never do you see Jesus taking, or limiting his giving, because of the way others treated Him? He has shown us what selfless love is supposed to look like. It gives, never thinking of what it will gain in return. Selfish love gives to get, selfless love gives. Which love is characterized by the way you act?
