I hear people all the time wanting to know what certain doctors and phycologist say about child-rearing. We live in a time when we select scripture according to our likes and seem to think that scripture is not relevant for raising our children today. If a doctor, or some author, comes up with a new idea about training a child, we seem to jump on the bandwagon, as if they have all the answers. However, when God created us he already had it all figured out, and he didn’t need our help. The Bible, in II Timothy 3:16-17, reminds us that God’s word is given to us and is adequate to equip us for every good work. I think “every” would include rearing children. The wisdom that we are seeking in training our children is only found in God’s word.
II Timothy 3:16-17 “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”
God gives us the perfect pattern of a perfect father, Himself. We can see through His word how He deals with His children. What is God’s goal for us as His children? What is He trying to do in our lives? I think Romans 8:28-29 answers that. He wants to conform us to the image of His dear Son, Jesus.
Romans 8:28-29 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”
So how do we seek to conform our children to the image of Jesus Christ? First, we need to be teaching them in every situation who God is. Teaching them to love God with all their heart, soul, and mind. They need to see that we live our lives according to God’s word. They need to see that we love him more than anything else. If we sin we need to confess, and if it has something to do with them, we need to confess to them also, and ask forgiveness. The ultimate goal is to bring them to a saving knowledge of Jesus.
As we continue to teach them God’s written word we are giving the Holy Spirit something to work with when God starts drawing their heart toward His. Help your children, at a very early age, to think about whether or not their actions please God. This knowledge alone will help them to see their sinfulness and a need for a Savior.
Second, we need to teach them to love others as they love themselves. Not a very popular idea in our society, not even for a Christian. Yet, it is what God says to do.
Mark 12:31 “And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”
The first way to do this is by example. If your children see you being kind to others and going above and beyond the norm to meet the needs of others, they will learn love and servanthood. However, if they see you doing acts of kindness, but talking about it to others they will learn to be full of pride. But, if you act out of love, not expecting anything in return, and not telling anyone what you have done, they will understand the command to put others first. They will see humility acted out not just talked about.
Philippians 2:3 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
The greatest influence that trains your own children is your own life. You can’t say one thing and do another and expect the right outcome. That type of behavior will teach your children to be a hypocrite and it will not just affect their spiritual life, it will spill over into their work, and their relationships. Be real in all areas of your life.
Teach them to respect you from a very early age. You do this by lovingly correcting and disciplining them. God also deals with us this way. He loves us beyond measure but will not allow us to sin and get by with it. Because he deals with us in this way we have a proper respect or fear of Him.
Proverbs 1:7a “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Knowledge”
God has given parents authority over their children and it is our job to make sure the children learn to obey. God gives them the command in Ephesians 6:1-3, but it is our responsibility to see that they do it.
When they are very young you deal with their behavior, because that is all they understand, but as they mature we can begin with attitudes. Hebrews 12:9 teaches us that our earthly fathers discipline us and so does our heavenly father, but it is out of a heart of love.
Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Proper discipline is crucial to molding a child to yield and be able to hear from God. Don’t get lazy, or allow a feeling of hopelessness to overtake you when you try to discipline, and it seems to have no effect. Keep at it. Sometimes we take a lot of correction from God before we comply also, but God doesn’t give up on us, because he loves us, and knows what is best for us. He is seeking to mold us into the image of His dear Son.
