I could not tell you how many times I have heard the question “must I forgive,” or the statement “I can’t forgive them.” Forgiveness can be a very hard thing, but I believe the harder it is to forgive someone, the greater the freedom when we do forgive. We know that forgiveness is possible because God commands it and He demonstrates it in His actions.
When Jesus was teaching in Matthew 6:14-15, He made it very clear that if we refuse to forgive God will not forgive us. That paints forgiving in a very different light. None of us want our sins to be held against us when we enter Heaven. To not be forgiven is to be doomed to Hell. God tells us we must forgive and there are no exceptions anywhere in scripture. If God tells us we must do something, then it is possible. However, too many try to do things on their own, and forgiveness needs the help of the one who forgave the most, God. He gave His only Son to make it possible for us to be forgiven, then He sent His Holy Spirit to dwell within us to aid us in living for Him. Christians have all that we need to forgive others, but we must let go of selfish feelings of wanting vindication and let God work in and through us.
Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
So many give the excuse “I have forgiven them before, but I can’t do it again.” Jesus answered this situation when Peter asks him in Matthew 18:21-22 how often should I forgive, seven times? Jesus’ answer was seventy times seven. Was Jesus giving us an exact number? No, what Jesus was illustrating was to forgive as often as someone did us wrong. There is no limit to God’s forgiveness, and He is our example.
Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Sometimes the pain seems too great to repair but God will help us. If we refuse to forgive and won’t even try we will be hardening our hearts! We will be living in disobedience and every time we pray the Holy Spirit will bring that infraction to our minds. Until we settle it in our hearts and determine we are going to forgive, He will not hear our prayers.
Psalm 66:18 “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:”
When we are too angry, too selfish, or too consumed with the pain to forgive, we need to lean on the promise He gives us in Ezekiel 11:19. He tells us he will replace our stony heart with a heart of flesh. A tender heart, a heart that is willing to forgive. It is a heart that hurts, but it is also one that is ready to be compassionate with others. It is a heart that sees beyond the pain to the person. It also realizes when others hurt us, ultimately, they are hurting themselves worse because they are against God.
Many times, people that have wronged us do not ask for forgiveness, but that does not change how we should behave. Forgiving others is not because they deserve it, or because they expect it. The pattern for forgiving was shown to us by Jesus himself. In Luke 23:34 when Jesus was on the cross, he cried out to His Father, forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing. They did not understand they were crucifying the Son of God. When people do us wrong, they may do it intentionally, but they don’t understand what they are doing to their own souls. Forgiving is not dependent on the other person, it is dependent on our relationship with God.
Luke 23:34 “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”
Another aspect of forgiveness is being patient with the one who has offended us. Patience is a virtue that God commands us to have. In Galatians 5:22 patience is an element of the fruit of the Spirit. It is within all believers, but it is up to us to exercise it. In Romans 15:5 God commands us to have a mind like his toward others. We are to be patient and long-suffering with others. Praying for them and giving God time to work is the very best thing we can do in this situation. So many times, we get in God’s way because we are consumed with our own hurt. We want to take matters into our own hands and force the issue of the other person asking forgiveness. When we do this, we may get the outward change we want, but we must remember only God can change the heart. When God changes the heart there is real change not just compliance for comfort. The last thing we should want to do is get in God’s way while He is dealing with a person’s heart, but so often our impatience causes that.
Romans 15:5 “Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus:”
When we forgive, we will experience freedom like nothing else can give. We will be releasing the anger and pain that we feel. We will experience a clear conscience because we are being obedient to God, and we will advance toward becoming selfless people rather than selfish people. Is this easy to do? No, especially the first time you determine you are going to do it God’s way. Satan will pull out his tactics of reminding you of the pain, and his greatest tool is causing us to think we deserve to feel the way that we do. Bitterness and resentment can easily set in if we don’t fight hard to submit ourselves to God and give Him full control. However, it becomes easier each time we do it. It’s like exercising a muscle the more you do it the stronger it gets.
Excellent