Recently I spoke with a young girl who said she was in the situation she was in because she had anger issues. With much sincerity in her voice, she asked, “How can I control my anger?” My heart went out to her because a child should not be having anger issues at 15 years old. However, the reality is that she does, and it is ruining her life. Children are not born with anger issues. They have them because of their environment. They have learned by example, or they have been allowed to express their anger as a young child. Parents sometimes think they can handle it because they are little, and it is no big deal, but anger not dealt with as a young child, only gets worse as they get older. This young girl had been hurt a lot in her young life, but no one had taken the time to teach her how to deal with her situation.
When we have any area of our lives that needs changing, the first road on the path to a solution is to admit you have a problem. Don’t make excuses for your sins. Name it as sin, and deal with it as you would any sin. If you don’t think you can control it, you are lying to yourself. If you don’t believe me, get in the middle of a fuss, and let the telephone ring. You answer the phone, and your words are as sweet as if you are in the middle of a great day.
There is a great cost when anger jumps out ahead of your other emotions. When you lose your temper, you lose! You lose the confidence of family members, who no longer want to discuss things with you because of your unstable temper. You lose the respect of those who see you lose your temper. Proverbs 14:17 tells us, that if you are quick to be angry you are a fool. In Ecclesiastes 7:9, we are told this anger rests within a foolish man. We are not to be quick to get angry.
Proverbs 14:17 “He that is soon angry will deal foolishly; And a man of wicked devices is hated.”
Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”
We are to think before we react. Ephesians 4:26 says to be angry and sin not. We know it is not a sin to get angry, but it is a sin to allow it to control what you do or say. Words can never be taken back. We are to seek to be led by the Holy Spirit, to hold our tongue. The enemy, Satan, tells us to take care of ourselves. Let people know how you feel. It’s your right to make known how you feel about something. If you take the approach that Satan encourages, you will suffer from it. You always have the option of taking the high road and walking away. Don’t spout off words while you are angry.
Proverbs 29:11 “A fool uttereth all his anger; But a wise man keepeth it back and stilleth it.”
We all have situations where we will get angry. People disappoint us, and we get angry because they didn’t fulfill their responsibilities. Sometimes physical pain can cause us to react in anger because we feel bad. Frustration can also cause anger. We can’t seem to figure things out and we have emotional pain. The common thing is to lash out at others.
We will all face situations where we will be angry and there seems to be just cause for the anger. That’s why Ephesians 4:26 tells us to be angry and sin not. The key is to behave biblically.
The reality is we all will face these situations. We are to think before we lash out at people. Ask yourself why you are so angry. I know this sounds easier than it is, but we are to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. If we truly take stock of why we are angry most of the time it is pure selfishness. We want things our way and we are unwilling to yield.
We need to pray every day, that the Spirit will guide us in all we do or say. When we begin to get angry the Holy Spirit will bring to our memory what we have prayed, and if we will let the Holy Spirit lead, he will show us how to defuse the situation rather than to ignite the fuse. If you do slip up and have a fit of anger, make sure you repent and ask those involved, and God to forgive you.
We have never lived in an age where more anger is expressed openly. If someone doesn’t like something they take care of it with violence. Learning to control our temper and teaching our children to control theirs, is vital to a good relationship with God and it is vital to a successful society.
