Party! Mention the word and you get attention. The mere mention brings thoughts of fun and excitement. We have parties to celebrate special occasions. Birthdays, anniversaries, retirements, holidays, or anything else we can think of in order to have a good time. There is no shortage of opportunities to put together a good meal and celebrate with friends and family.
We all like to be invited and even give parties, but there’s one party that I’d rather not attend. That, my friend, is a Pity-Party. I’ve held them alone, but I’ve also been invited to them. You know, the one where people are feeling sorry for themselves and they invite you to sympathize with them. I see them all the time, but usually, I’m just told of them, but not allowed to participate. I’ve had them myself, but never really wanted anyone to come. I just partied alone, hoping no one would notice and get their feelings hurt because they didn’t get an invitation. Mine used to last several days, sometimes as much as a week. However, I now know those parties are destructive and try to stay away from them.
The chief guest at these parties is Self-pity. Every human being is prone to self-pity. Because of our sinful nature, we are born self-centered, with a powerful drive to protect our egos and our “rights.” This guest implies that God only exists to serve Self. That if Self is not happy it’s God’s fault. Self-pity also implies that she knows better than God what will make her happy. Saying things like “if I only had this or that God I could serve you better”. Self-pity says things like “I deserve better than this”. The greatest clue that Self-pity is not of God is her first name, “Self”. When we focus on ourselves, unless we are doing a self-examination that would lead to repentance, we are in the territory of the flesh.
Usually, Self-pity brings along her best friend Ungrateful. Ungrateful is always pouting or feeling sorry for herself. Comparing her life to those around her. Never taking into account all that God has done for her. They are so much alike they go everywhere together. She always shows up at Self-pities parties. If she stays very long, her friends Murmuring and Complaining come over and remind her she is better than the situation. They always cause her to have an exalted view of herself. Occasionally they find her down and out, but soon remind her that no matter who is there she should be the center of attention. Self-pity always focuses inward. As long as she can keep these friends with her, she never has to worry about looking outward to help others. She has learned that as long as they hang around the party goes on.
Self-confidence, self-seeking, self-admiration, self-indulgence, self-absorption, and self-love, are all symptoms of a fleshly nature that has not yet been fully surrendered to Jesus. Note, all of these starts with self, not Jesus. We are nothing on our own, and it was self-sin that brought down Samson in Judges 16:20. It was this type of sin that caused the rich young ruler to turn away from Jesus in Matthew 19:21-22. This is also the sin that infected David in II Samuel 11:2-17. The sin of self is one we must deal with on a daily basis. It reveals what is really in our hearts no matter what we say with our lips. It can only be hidden for so long and if not dealt with you may suffer SELF-DESTRUCTION!
When was the last time you had a pity-party?
How did you justify your behavior?
What helpful advice did you give when you “walked in on a pity-party?
How is the best way to help someone who is having a pity-party?
Philippians 2:3-5 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”
Galatians 5:24-25 “And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. ”
