On Sunday mornings, I teach children at our church. I recently told an 8-year-old they were being selfish, and the response was, “I don’t know what that word means.” This is the world we live in. Selfishness is so much a part of us and so acceptable that people live a selfish life without being able to make the application. Selfishness is the root of all sins! We are told to put ourselves first and to push ahead no matter who we may hurt in our quest to take care of our desires. This desire has ruined many relationships, especially a relationship with our Holy God. If what we do is not done without thinking of ourselves and how it will affect us, we are still acting with the attitude of selfishness. I proclaim that selfishness is the hardest sin to overcome completely. It will be a challenge while we live on this earth because we are sinful creatures. John stated our purpose in John 3:30 when he said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Sound simple? This little verse gives the formula for overcoming selfishness.
John 3:30 “He must increase, but I must decrease.”
If we look closely at selfishness, we will find it the root cause of many problems. Men ruin companies because of their quest to feed the flesh. They steal and think of ways to undermine others that might hinder their progress. Men and women ruin families because they have a desire to feed the flesh with adulterous affairs. People ruin churches because they have a desire to have their way and feed their ego. Even some mental disorders are attributed to selfishness because they stem from living in self-pity and an inward focus that causes depression.
How do we overcome this subtle, life-sucking sin? We die to ourselves. Every day, God gives us opportunities to die to ourselves. For instance, how do I react when someone wants the piece of pie that my taste buds desire or offers a way to do something that is not wrong but not of my choosing? These are opportunities to set aside what I want and focus instead on loving God and loving others with everything in me. By doing this, we can show that we value others as much as we value ourselves. This attitude will move us to be like Christ and care deeply for others. In Matthew 22:37-39, we have the two greatest commandments. When we love Christ with all our hearts, souls, and minds, we will be able to emulate him and love others selflessly.
Matthew 22:37-39 “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
We must not view dying to ourselves as a bad thing. So many think acting this way will cause them to be trampled on by others. However, what happens is the opposite. It is a life of hope and joy. In Matthew 16:24-25, Jesus tells us we must deny ourselves, but by the obedience of denying, we will find what life is all about. When we choose to lose ourselves for the sake of others, it moves us away from self-centeredness and closer to becoming openhearted followers of Christ.
Matthew 16:24 “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
To find genuine life, we depend on God completely. In John 12:24, Jesus taught the principle of dying to self about the grain of wheat. When the grain of wheat is planted, it is dead. If it remains in the bag of seeds, it will remain one seed and eventually decay and rot away. However, when it is planted in the earth, where it will gain nourishment, it comes alive. Then, that one-grain flourishes and bears many more grains of wheat.
John 12:24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
Becoming selfless is freeing! It frees you not to feel hurt when you don’t get recognition for something you did. It allows you to truly glorify God in your actions. He gets the glory and praise for anything good you do. Being selfless points people to Christ, not yourself. It causes you to rethink the discipline in your life. It allows you to declutter your life. When you are not thinking of yourself, you don’t spend money on things that will only clutter your life more. Your time is not focused on entertaining yourself. You are no longer promoting yourself but seeking to serve God and others.
Nothing will give you security and satisfaction compared to what you find when you allow God to be in charge. With this change of attitude of heart and mind, you will find a relationship with God like you have never known before. You have moved yourself out of the way and made more room for God. The more room you make, the more space you have for Him! The more He has of you, the happier you will be. Seek to start today to become selfless, not selfish.
