A few days ago many all over the world made resolutions. Most will keep them for a very short time because they are depending on their own strength. I have found that for a Christian, the only way to keep a resolution that is life-changing, is to ask for help. All of us function better when accountability is present. Maybe it is because we don’t want others to see us as a failure. Maybe it is pride that causes us to continue a certain path because it would be too embarrassing to admit we couldn’t complete our mission. Fear, disappointment, lack of self-discipline, and temptation, can all lead to failure when we determine there are life-changing actions, or attitudes, that need to take place in our lives. I believe accountability is a major factor in success.
Accountability takes place when someone else holds you accountable. Sounds simple, but many times we ask someone to hold us accountable, but we start to slip and don’t tell them the truth or ignore them when we fail. A good accountability partner is there to help you, not hurt you. If you expect success, you must be open and honest with your accountability partner. I find it easy to have someone hold me accountable in certain areas of my life, such as my weight, or exercise. These are areas that we are more open about. However, the greatest need for accountability is in the areas I don’t want anyone to know about. We all want to give a good impression of ourselves, so the things we struggle with telling others about stay hidden.
In God’s wisdom, He knew how we would react to exposing ourselves to others so He gave us an accountability partner when we accepted Jesus as our personal Savior. The greatest accountability partner I have is the Holy Spirit. He dwells within me, and no matter where I go, He is there. If I pray and ask for help, He will always make a way for victory. If you are a Christian, your greatest help lies within you. However, you must listen to Him, and yield yourself to him.
I Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you, but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
How do you become sensitive to the Holy Spirit? You must discipline yourself to study and pray. Just like any relationship you want to develop, you must invest in it and get to know the other person. The more you know, the more you love; the more you love, the more you want to please. This cycle should go on and on when it involves our Lord.
I believe God also gives us other believers to help us achieve success in this life. We should have accountability relationships that prompt each other to grow closer to the Lord. We are to question, challenge, admonish, encourage, and confess to one another. Having someone like this should help you to grow spiritually. If you think you have such a friend, but you are not being challenged to grow spiritually, then you need to seek another friend. A real accountability partner should be a true friend, and a true friend should want what is best for you, and the best thing for you is to be more like Jesus.
Accountability is not just for those who have sinful habits. It is for everyone. Accountability is for sharing of burdens, or for sharing the goodness of God in your life. It is praying for one another, and with one another. It is working together for the cause of Christ, to make a difference that is far greater than anything you can do alone. Ephesians chapter 4 makes it clear that we need each other, so that we may not stumble, and so that we can help each other up when we fail. We cannot successfully run this race and win alone. When we are not involved with a body of believers, we become weak. Satan will attack all fronts, and if we have strong Christian relationships, we have an army to help us fight.
So, how do we choose accountability partners? First, they must be someone who is also a Christian. The purpose of this relationship is to help us to grow in the Lord by confronting our weaknesses. There must also be some areas of compatibility. Your values and beliefs concerning sin should be the same. You need to seek out someone that loves you enough to tell you the truth, no matter how bad it hurts. This should be someone you can look to that is stronger than you in the areas you are weak. An accountability partner that will not tell you the truth, or remind you of a commitment you made because they are afraid of hurting your feelings, is not a good partner. I also believe it is imperative that you have someone of the same gender. Women with women, and men with men, unless they are your spouse. You are exposing your emotions and your heart to this person, and inappropriate feelings can result from sharing such deep personal information. This person needs to be someone you can trust to keep a confidence, but also someone you can trust to be direct with you.
Being accountable is not just a negative relationship where you talk about your failures, but it should be a time of rejoicing as each little step is made toward being all that God wants us to be. As you grow in your relationship with each other, you should be growing in your relationship with Christ. Finding this person or persons may be difficult, but if you seek God’s wisdom in it, He will provide. Let me remind you that He has already given you the greatest help possible. He gave us the Holy Spirit to dwell within us, and there is no greater help than that. No one loves you like God loves you, and no one will be with you like He will. No one knows you as He does. There is nothing hidden from Him, now or forevermore. Take advantage of what He has already provided. Pray and ask God to show you areas of weakness and ways to avoid failure. This reminds me of the verses in Matthew 7:7-8 that tell us to seek and we will find. I challenge you to make this new year a year of change for Christ. A year of accountability to each other and to Christ. A year where you will grow so much in Him, that it can’t help but spill over to all those around you.
Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
