Have you ever had a friend that just couldn’t seem to get past themselves? It seemed as though no matter what the subject was you somehow ended up talking about them. It was almost as if they had no real interest in you, they just needed a sounding board. This person is either not a true friend, or they need to learn how to relate to others.
A friend should have a deep desire to know you. If you want your friendship to go past surface relationship effort must be made to get to know the other person. What do they like? What are their strengths, their weaknesses, and their fears?
In John 15:15 Jesus is speaking. He is about to leave them, and he is informing them he no longer looks at them as a slave or servant, but as a friend. He also let them know his secret wishes regarding them. It is the privilege of friendship to be made acquainted with the plans wishes and wants of the friend.
John 15:15 “Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”
A real friend is someone you can truly be yourself with. This does not happen overnight. It is a slow process. It can also be risky to be vulnerable, but if you examine the character traits of your friend and find them trustworthy it can be very rewarding. You have someone with which you can take off the mask, and you do not fear they will spread your faults around to all your other friends. God designed us to have friends and to be a friend.
Ruth and Naomi had such a friendship. Their friendship is an unlikely friendship because most young women don’t want their mother-in-law as their best friend. Naomi’s husband had died and both sons had also died. Naomi tells both her daughters-in-law to go back to stay in their homeland with their families and their gods. Orpha went back, but Ruth would not. A very different relationship from what we know about daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law! However, these two deeply loved each other.
Ruth stuck with her mother-in-law through everything. She knew the weaknesses of Naomi and chose to stay with her and meet her needs. Because of Ruth’s desire to put Naomi’s needs above her own God richly blessed. This friendship was not a one-way street. Ruth also listened to Naomi. She knew this older woman had wisdom she could learn from. She directed her throughout the process of finding a husband. Can you imagine this in our day and age? Never! They shared everything. The following verse has been used often in marriages, but it should also be true of a godly friend. The emphasis of this verse portrays the desire to stick with someone through thick and thin, bad and good times. Circumstances do not determine the love you will have for them.
Ruth 1:16 “And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:”
Are you a trustworthy friend? Do you desire to know your friend better, so you can help them to be all God wants them to be? The path to being the kind of friend that seeks a deep relationship rather than a surface relationship is to determine to put others first.
Romans 12:10 “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another”
A friend of this calibar is a rare find. If you have one, realize how blessed you are and make sure that you are that kind of friend to them.
