Most of us have many, many, acquaintances, but how many of those can we really call friends? Through the years we have moved several times and I must say God has blessed me with a lot of friends. However, I also know many who have a hard time making friends. In the book of Proverbs, we are told if we want friends we must show ourselves friendly.
Proverbs 18:24a “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly:”
If you are seeking friends, there are some key elements you must remember.
If you are a person that lacks friendship is it an indication you have a problem getting along with others? Is it an indication you are a bit insecure and fearful of rejection? Could it be you are arrogant and don’t feel the need for friends? Maybe you need to work on the words you use with others. Proverbs 16:24 gives us the pattern for our words. Are you sweet in your words? Sweet words are like honey is to flies, they draw people to you.
Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”
Our words should be sweet and inviting. In Proverbs 27:9 there is sweetness in the counsel of a friend. This indicates you are concerned about your friend you desire for them to do what is right and your desire is to help them.
Proverbs 27:9 “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.”
Are you a whisperer or a back bitter? Do you gossip about your friends?
Proverbs 16:28 “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.”
Do you always have a negative attitude about things? If so, you can expect people to scatter when you are around. Are you sarcastic and snippy with your remarks? There is no excuse for this kind of behavior. I’ve known a few people like this. When they are having a “bad” day their own feelings override how they make others feel. A true friend will love always. Negativity and snide remarks are not loving!
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times”
True friends communicate openly with one another. Because of the trust and love they have for one another, there is no fear that their intimate details will be shared with someone else.
John 15:15 “Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”
If you want to have friends think of them before yourself. Put their needs before your own. Don’t seek to be the center of attention but be humble.
Philippians 2:3-4 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”
Do you choose friends based on their appearance? Do you lean toward those who are just like you or those who can be beneficial to you? The Bible makes it plain that we are not to show favoritism because of the wealth or lack of wealth someone has.
James 2:1-3 “My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool:”
Some of the greatest people I’ve ever known had very little in worldly goods, but they sure knew how to be great friends.
Thinking of the verse we began with, Proverbs 18:24, it stated if we want friends we must be friendly. All of these questions should be used as a self-examination. If we don’t have friends, we need to find out why. We need to make sure we are the right kind of friend. It is our responsibility to make friends, we are to share Christ with anyone we can. We are to bear one another’s burdens. We are to make an impact for Christ in the lives of others. Christians should be the greatest friends of all. After all, Jesus is the perfect friend and we are to emulate him.
