The definition of respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. To show respect is to place value on someone. It must be the foundation of any good relationship.
One of the main ways that we show respect to our friends is how we talk about them when we are not around them. If we are close to someone there will be times we are upset with them. When this happens, the Bible instructs us that if we have anything against our brother or friend we are to go to them and get things right.
Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there remembers that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”
This passage makes it clear that we cannot be right with God until we reconcile ourselves with our friends. Too many times, instead of resolving our difference with one another, we take our problems to others. The proper respect goes to those involved, not others. This idea of respecting one another and clearing up any wrongdoing, or perceived wrongdoing, is so important to God that he will not accept our worship until we have made things right with others.
This pattern that God has set forth helps us to also keep a good testimony with those that are unsaved. Why would anyone want to be part of a body of believers where people inside the body can’t get along with each other.
Proverbs 25:9-10 “Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself, and discover not a secret to another: Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away.”
If we have an argument or hurt feelings, we are to go to our friend and settle the issue, not share it with others. Don’t expect to keep your friend as a friend if you talk about them behind their back.
Another way that many reveal their feelings of being upset with their friend is by being sarcastic when speaking to them and others. They may not speak harsh words about them, but the way they speak reveals their heart. This is also wrong. Though they may not say anything bad about their friend the manner in which they speak shows there is a problem between them.
We are to respect all people, and especially our friends because they are made in the image of God himself. He loves them and placed value on them by giving His son to die for them. In I Peter 2:17 we are told to honor all men. The word honor could be better understood as respect, both words mean to place value upon another. That is what we are showing when we respect others.
I Peter 2:17 “Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.”
If you are angry, but not able yet to go to your friend, then you should be quiet about your situation with others. Proverbs 11:12 teaches that those who belittle or put down their neighbor, or friend, are lacking good sense, but a person of understanding is quiet.
Proverbs 11:12 “He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbor: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.”
When you allow your anger or hurt to speak in a way that is detrimental to the character of your friend you are a hypocrite. A true friend loves at all times and love does not express itself in this manner.
Proverbs 11:9 “A hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.”
Are you hypocritical in your friendship? If you are different when with your friend than when you are apart, you are not a true friend. You are using that person when it benefits you. Thinking only of yourself, not others.
Romans 12:10 “Be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another;”
We are to respect others and prefer them above ourselves. This is true friendship. This is the kind of friendship Jesus showed to us as he laid down his life.
John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
Do you respect your friends? Have you followed the pattern God set for us? I think from time to time we all fail in this area. However, we should not “brush it under the rug” as if it is no big deal. It is sin to be disrespectful to anyone and God does not condone any sin. Start today seeking to be a respectful friend to all God has placed in your path.
