Everything we do has characteristics that allow us to describe it. Love is no different. These two verses teach us how to practice real love. These characteristics are the measuring tool by which you can determine if someone really loves you.
I Corinthians 13:4-5 “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;”
The first characteristic is long-suffering or rather patience. The Greek word for patience is “long-tempered.” Therefore, real love would be slow to anger. There are eight verses in the Old Testament that say the Lord is slow to anger. In the New Testament, James 1:19 gives us the command to be slow to wrath or anger. Real love endures personal wrongs without retaliation. How can a person do this? He thinks not of himself, but of how his actions will affect others.
James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
The second characteristic is kindness. A person who is kind does not use opportunities to say things that would hurt others. A kind person seeks ways to show kindness. It is patience in action. The Greek word comes from a word meaning useful. This person takes a wrong done to them and seeks ways to be kind to that person. Jesus told us to love our enemies and the kind person seeks to do this. After all, that’s what God did for us. We were his enemy before we were saved, (Romans 5:10) and it is his kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).
Romans 5:10 “For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.”
Romans 2:4 “Or despisest thou the riches of his kindness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the kindness of God leadeth thee to repentance?”
The third characteristic is they are not envious. The definition of envy is the same as jealousy. It is a feeling of discontent or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, or qualities. The envious person wants what others have. It expresses itself in greed and selfishness. He is a taker, not a giver. All the attention must be on Him. This person is very possessive and is hard to get along with when he doesn’t get what he wants. When this attribute is not put under control it can lead to anger and if continued will lead to some degree of hatred.
I Peter 2:1 “So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.”
The fourth characteristic is that they do not boast or show themselves as a prideful person. This attitude proceeds from the idea of “superiority” over others. It shows itself as a feeling of contempt or disregard for them. Love would correct this because it would produce a desire that others should be happy. An attitude of pride governs this person. This person will be opposed by God.
James 4:6 “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
The fifth characteristic is stated as unseemly, the word means rude! Love will never express itself as rude. Rudeness is another act of selfishness.
The sixth characteristic is that love will not seek its own way. It will put the needs and feelings of others above their own.
Philippians 2:3 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
The seventh characteristic is love is not easily provoked. A person showing real love does not have a hot temper. Love does not wear its feelings on its shoulder, waiting for someone to knock them off.
Psalm 145:8 “The LORD is gracious and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.”
The eighth characteristic of love is that it thinks no evil. A loving person does not assume the worst about a person. They do not judge their motives. Love seeks to think the best until proven wrong. Real love allows room for a person to fail and get up again with no lingering feelings of ill will. Instead of thinking evil, or with ill intent, we are to think as Philippians 4:8 directs us.
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
These are some very pointed aspects of love that point out to us how much we really love. We must look closely at ourselves and examine our lives by each characteristic. Tomorrow we will examine more of the characteristics of real Christian love.
