The idea that a church would discipline a member for living a sinful lifestyle is almost extinct. This would be a lifestyle of committing sins that are specifically mentioned in the Bible. It is not done because of gossip, but because of known offenses that would hurt the testimony of the church. The purpose of following Jesus’ commands in Matthew 18:15-17 is to restore the individual to his right relationship with God.
In Matthew 18:15, we see that this situation is between two fellow Christians. The Bible and the church refer to fellow Christians as brothers and sisters. In Mark 3:32-35, Jesus defines brotherhood not by natural relationships, but by spiritual connections. In Matthew 18:15, Jesus proceeds with the process for church discipline.
First, if someone has sinned against a brother or sister, that person is to go to them in private. It’s a one-on-one talk, seeking for the offender to repent. Many times, this will solve the problem. If the person sinning cares for the one they have offended, they will welcome restoration of the relationship, and thus repair their relationship with God. When repentance occurs at the first step, it also keeps the sin from hurting the church and spreading gossip.
Second, if they will not listen, the next step is to take someone with you to talk to them. Usually, this would include the Pastor or Deacons of the church. It is someone that has authority in the church and is highly respected. Their actions carry weight that what is done is necessary and done biblically.
Third, if the person that is living a sinful lifestyle refuses to listen and repent, then the matter is to be brought before the church. This purpose is two-fold. The first purpose is to allow the offender an opportunity to repent and be restored to full fellowship with God and the church. If they still refuse to listen and repent, they are to be considered an unbeliever and would no longer be a member of the church. This allows those on the outside to know that the church is serious about sin, and it is determined to remain pure. God is a holy God and repentance is vital to having a relationship with Him.
Matthew 18:15-17 “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglects to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.”
Mark 3:32-35 “And the multitude sat about him, and they said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren without seek for thee. And he answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.”
I understand that in our culture of “anything goes” this seems harsh. Many would call it judgmental, but God ordained this to be the way for a church to stay pure, and for those who are living in sin to see their sin as serious. It is not an easy thing for any church, and it is never done without much prayer and seeking of God’s face. Very few churches would dare to handle sin in the life of their members this way today. They fear being labeled as “holier than thou.” They fear a church split because many members don’t understand the biblical mandate in these verses. I have been in a church that practices biblical discipline, and it is a heartbreaking event when someone refuses to repent. I have seen members repent when they were first approached, and I have seen others bristle, refuse, and ride the process to the end. It is vital for every Christian to understand that God set the pattern for restoration, and if we are to be right with Him as a church, we must not shy away from doing God’s work God’s way. We have far too many members not taking their sin seriously. If the church doesn’t do its part, it will weaken the impact of the church in the eyes of the community. It will lessen the blessings of God on the church because they have cherished or regarded iniquity. They have allowed it to continue, and God will not hear their prayers.
Psalm 66:18 “If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.”
This is an awful thing for a church to go through, but it is necessary if we are to obey God and expect His blessings. We cannot look at things the way the average person looks at sin. We must see things God’s way. It doesn’t matter if you or I think it’s the best way to handle things. What matters is that we trust God and obey.