There is a poison lurking in many souls that most see as a pet, not a poison. They are like the rat who keeps eating the bait that is good for him, except for the 10% poison. It may have had a few bitter bites, but he chokes down the bitter to fill his mouth with the good-tasting stuff. Little does he know that as he leaves this food searching for water, he is taking his last walk away from what he thought was a good meal.
That’s the way poison works. It is a sin that lurks in all sorts of ways and covers itself with what seems to be justifiable and good. The sneakiest of all is an unforgiving spirit. It is the most unlike Christ that we can be. While on the cross he asks His Father to forgive those who crucified Him!
Luke 23:34 “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment and cast lots.”
It was a command he gave us in Matthew 6:14-15. If we are not willing to forgive, from the depths of our hearts, we cannot expect forgiveness from God. If we say we cannot, we make God a liar. He has told us in Philippians 4:13, we can do all things through Him.
Matthew 6:14-15 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Maybe we need to come to grips with why we feel the way we do. All hurts are some form of rejection. Some feel rejected because the person they care about has, “in their eyes,” rejected them because of another person in their life. They feel this person is taking away something from them. These feelings of rejection are understandable if it is between a married couple. If one is spending too much time with someone instead of them they need to talk to their spouse. Marriage is a oneness relationship and should be viewed that way. However, regardless of what happens, it is never right to not forgive. It is possible to forgive and forget. If this rejection is from a friend or family member we need to look deep into our hearts and examine the root of our feelings.
Sometimes we feel rejected and are unwilling to forgive because we have been embarrassed. We feel that what someone has done is a reflection on us, and we would not have done it that way. We may have all sorts of negative feelings, abandonment, rejection, fear, or loss, but those feelings do not justify an unforgiving spirit.
Some bolt into confusion next. They don’t understand why or how this could be happening. They had the whole situation, and relationship figured out, and now things are different. The natural tendency is to talk to everyone about it. To build a case for how they feel. This is pride and selfishness, a fleshly way to vindicate our actions. However, God has given us the answer to these feelings. Unforgiveness, no matter what the situation, is wrong. If we expect to be forgiven, we must forgive. We all want to be forgiven by God. We need to take responsibility for our sins, open our hearts, and allow God to have His way. Stop trying to figure it out. You don’t have to understand the other person to forgive. We need to choose to quit blaming others and stop waiting for them to change.
This unforgiving spirit destroys respect between the two parties involved, but it also lessens the respect others have for us when they hear of the problem. This is one of those areas where we need to take it to God, and the persons involved. When we tell others, we force them to take sides in the situation, and it can cause division in a body of believers. Most don’t love you enough to step back and look at the big picture and help you resolve the situation. Most, because of Biblical ignorance, will feed the sinful nature, gossip with you, and feel sorry for you. They will have no solution that honors God.
Unresolved issues will hinder your prayer life. God tells us how to deal with this also. You may kid yourself and rationalize that it isn’t your fault, therefore you’re ok, but that is a deception from Satan.
Matthew 5:23 “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”
You can’t dig a hole and bury it. You can’t take a detour away from it, by avoiding the situation, going on vacations, or getting involved in other things. The problem will still be there. If you are not able to forgive, love, and put it behind you, you must dig to the bottom and get rid of the root.
Bitterness is always at the bottom of this sin. Hebrews 12:15 tells us to give close attention because the propensities of the heart are to deceive ourselves and justify our sin. Bitterness defiles us.
Hebrews 12:15 “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;”
The word bitterness in Ephesians 4:31 refers to poison. It poisons the spirit of the bitter one. After telling us what to put away from our lives, Paul instructs us what to do in the next verse. Forgiving others is on that list.
Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
This is a subject the Bible has much to say about. This sin is not a visible sin to all. We can easily fake it, and act like everything is ok when it is not. An unforgiving spirit will always start with hurt, undealt with, it turns into anger and then bolts into bitterness. At this point, it literally poisons our system. Our thinking becomes defense, our actions become tainted by it, and our hearts are deceived.
We must seek God and call unforgiveness, anger, and bitterness what it is, it is sin. To not do so is rebellion against God. Stop waiting for others to change. Do what is right and take responsibility for your sin. I found a few quotes that I thought fit here.
“He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge which he himself must pass over” George Herbert
“Unforgiveness is like taking poison but expecting someone else to die”
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” C. S. Lewis
If God can forgive us for such a huge debt, why can’t we forgive others?
