Educators all over the world evaluate the things they are teaching our children. There are multitudes of documents where data has recorded the outcome of the educational system. When math scores for an area are low, they analyze the teachers, the methods, the tools used, and the environment of the classroom. Parents embrace the idea of making things better so their children can get a better education. If their children aren’t doing well in school, or as well as they think they are capable of doing, they insist on change. My question is why we don’t get this concerned about a change in their spiritual life. Why do we not analyze our teaching, our methods, the tools used, and the environments we place our children into? Could it be that we are more concerned about how they fit in this world than Heaven? Could it also be that it would mean we need to change?
If we are to have children that are godly kids, not just good kids, we must teach them according to the word of God. In Proverbs 22:6, Solomon, the one God characterized as the wisest of all men, wrote we are to “train a child in the way he should go and even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
The first thing we need to train our children is the word of God. Men may have lots of ideas, but nothing should take the place of God’s word as our guide. Many times, as a parent you will need to look to God for the answers. “Thy WORD is a lamp unto my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalms 119:11) Our problem lies in where we get the answers for training our children. Some will look to others who have kids and pattern after them. That is good if the bible is their guide. However, most parents don’t obey what they know much less seek out knowledge. They make excuses, and let things slide. We need to teach early in their lives about who God is. How He is the creator and owner of everything. Teach about His love and how He expects obedience. Read them stories as early as two about people in the Bible who disobeyed God and God punished them. Such as the story of Jonah. Also, balance that with those who obeyed God and He took care of them, such as Joseph. Spend time in the word with your child every day. It may be for only five minutes at first, but you are teaching them the importance and priority of God first.
Second, we must teach by example. Little children will mimic their parents. They love doing what Mommy or Daddy are doing. If you teach them God comes first, then you are to back it up with your actions. For example, you don’t get mad at the neighbor and say bad things about them. If someone behaves badly toward you, pray for them, and allow the kids to know about the prayers. They need to see you obeying the laws such as, not parking in a handicapped space when you are not handicapped. If the preacher encourages you to be involved in something in your church, do it! When he says let’s support a certain ministry, do it. This makes the point that God has placed this man as God’s man in your life, and if you want your children to grow up with the proper respect for God and God’s man, you need to follow His lead. The church is not a supermarket where we are picking and choosing the cereal we want; it is the place God has established for believers to fulfill the Great Commission and make disciples. Obedience is crucial to training your children. You can’t be a good example to them if you are not following what your pastor is preaching. Be an example!
Hebrews 13:17 “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
We must teach our children through discipline. Proper discipline requires a lot of self-discipline. We must be consistent if we want our children to obey. If you tell them to do something, make sure you enforce the action until it is complete, with the right attitude, and done the first time you tell them. This can become exhausting but stick with it because once learned it pays big dividends. When we are not consistent, we are teaching them several things that will hurt their spiritual lives in the future. First, when we say something and don’t enforce it, we are teaching them to lie. Second, we are teaching them that obedience is not important. It leads them to believe they can do what they wish, but this will flow into their spiritual lives. I’ve known many adults that believe God overlooks sin after they are saved. Nothing could be further from the truth. After salvation sin is worse in the life of the believer because you are sinning against the sacrifice of Jesus’ blood for your sins. You are sinning against the truth that God has revealed to you. Third, we are teaching them that some disobedience is sin and will reap bad consequences and other sins are not. In God’s eyes, all sin is bad. Jesus had to die for our sins because NO sin will enter Heaven and live with a Holy God. We all fail, but when you are inconsistent and act as if it’s no big deal you are willfully being disobedient.
If this seems harsh to you, please don’t view it that way. Sometimes it is hard to be honest with ourselves and think about the consequences of our actions later. If all seems well now, we ignore the future repercussions of those actions. Being honest with yourself before God is the first step to raising children that will rise up one day and call you blessed. It is the first step to less worry about the spiritual lives of your children and future grandchildren. We all make many mistakes, but honesty with ourselves before God helps us reduce the number of mistakes made.
Maybe you recognize areas where you are not being a good example, you haven’t been faithful to follow the leadership of a godly pastor, or you have not been consistent in your discipline. If your children are 5 or older sit them down, ask for their forgiveness, explain you have not done things God’s way, then tell them how you plan to change. When you are finished, pray with them and move forward in your quest to have godly children.
