If I were to ask you what are your children to you, what would be your response? Some would say, as I read on social media today, they are my world. Others might say my children have been my heartache because of the life they are living. I also hear they are my blessings. While each of these may be the reality for many as they think about their children, none of them convey the biblical view.
In Psalm 127 Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, gives us God’s picture of what our children should be to us. He begins in verse 1 with the building of our homes. He reveals to us that unless God builds our homes our labor will be in vain. The word vain means worthless, useless, or destructive literally or morally. While a home may appear to be filled with good upstanding citizens, without God as the center it is worthless and destructive from an eternal perspective. In verse one, he teaches us that our homes like our cities are to be protected and kept, not by man, but by God himself. In verse 2 he speaks of those who are sitting up late or rising early to ensure everything is taken care of. Yet again, it is vain or worthless unless the dependence is on God.
Psalm 127:1-2 “A Song of degrees for Solomon. Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.”
After establishing the fact that our total dependence must be on God for our homes, the psalmist turns his attention to the product of the home. Again, it is God who gives, and God we must depend upon. Our children are a heritage of God. A heritage is an inheritance. We are to understand that our children are a gift from God. Only God can give life. In Psalm 139, the psalmist speaks of how God forms us and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made. He gives details about how God made us and how God knows us. It is a beautiful picture of the care our Heavenly Father has for us when no one else knows we exist, or we are unable to care for ourselves.
Psalm 139:14 “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knowest right well.”
When we view our children as a gift from God, we will take care of them the way God intends for us to. In our children, we have the most valuable gift given other than our salvation. How we view them will influence how we train them. If we see them as a valuable gift from the King, the Almighty God, Creator, and Ruler of everything we will instinctively change our desire to mold this valuable gift from the most valuable giver. It will humble us to think that our God saw fit to entrust this gift to us. Gifts that have working parts always come with an instruction manual, and so do our children. God’s word has everything we need to know about raising our children. However, like most instruction manuals it gets tossed to the side until we realize we don’t know what to do. Unfortunately, with our children, we cannot start over like we can with a gift from a store. The Bible is to be used to guide our lives from birth until death. As parents, we are responsible for the years before adulthood. To train them in God’s ways, not just in going to church or being a good kid in school. Training starts at birth and is to be done for every area of life. We are to seek to prepare them to be godly, not good.
The psalmist uses the analogy of children being like arrows in the hand of a mighty man. If an arrow is to be of any value, there are several factors involved. First, the one shooting the arrow must have core stability. We must be spiritually strong and stable in our walk with the Lord if we are going to shoot those “arrows” straight. A second factor in shooting an arrow straight is the bow. Proper technique and proper materials make a bow accurate or inaccurate. Our bow is the Bible. Unless you use it to gain wisdom for rearing your children you will miss the target of raising a godly child. The problem I find with many parents is that they don’t study enough to know what God says about the situations of life. They determine what their children will do or not do by what society says is good or bad. They rate their children’s activities as “not so bad” or “it could be worse.” Neither of these attitudes will achieve the holiness that God demands of His people. God’s word is the answer and should not be overlooked because of laziness or conformity to society. Thirdly, we have the arrow itself. If it is going to hit the target it must be straight. Great care should be used in molding our children. This takes time, skill, and wisdom. James tells us in James 1:5 that if we want wisdom, we must ask for it and God will give it.
These arrows that God has placed in our hands are a great reward according to Psalm 127:3. They are a gift from God. If we shoot them straight, they will hit the target. In verse 5 we are told, “Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them.” The word happy means blessed or fully satisfied. The last part of the verse “they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate,” refers to children taking care of their parents in their old age. Children who hit the target will be able to defend their parents against the enemies. They will show honor to their parents. When in their younger years the parents were diligent in training and protecting their children, now the children treat them with the same love and tender care shown to them.
Psalm 127:3-5 “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”
Now, examine yourself. What are your children to you? Are they your world? If so, you will bend to their desires instead of God’s. Are you seeking to study God’s word for directions on raising your children and are you willing to follow them? Are your children worth putting in the effort to get it right? This will take study, prayer, and a strong determination to do it God’s way. As parents, we need to determine, no compromise and no retreat!
